Touch-Everything-But-Buy-Nothing Culture

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Touch-Everything-But-Buy-Nothing Culture There is a special kind of Malaysian who enters a shop not as a customer, but as a free-range inspector . They touch everything, test everything, criticise everything—and then leave without buying a single item. Welcome to the Touch-Everything-But-Buy-Nothing culture, a uniquely irritating performance art where entitlement is high, manners are low, and shame has taken a permanent day off. These people don’t shop. They audition . They squeeze fruits like they’re testing stress balls. They unfold shirts with the confidence of seasoned retail managers, only to toss them back like laundry done by someone who hates the household. They press buttons, twist knobs, sit on chairs, bounce on sofas, and tap screens with oily fingers—all while asking questions that begin with “Why so expensive ah?” and end with absolutely nothing in their hands. In electronics stores, they are even worse. Phones are poked like lab rats. Laptops are slammed s...
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Why WhatsApp Family Groups Never Sleep

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Why WhatsApp Family Groups Never Sleep


There are many unsolved mysteries in this world. Who built the pyramids? Why do socks disappear in the washing machine? And most importantly: why WhatsApp family groups never, ever sleep. Not at midnight. Not at 3 a.m. Not even during Subuh. Somewhere in Malaysia, right now, an uncle is forwarding a blurry poster with twelve exclamation marks and the words “PLEASE READ AND SHARE!!!” like humanity depends on it.

WhatsApp family groups are not messaging platforms. They are digital insomnia factories. Once you’re added—usually without consent—you are trapped in a 24/7 loop of forwarded messages, moral lectures, fake news, and passive-aggressive “Good Morning” images featuring roses, waterfalls, or lions with Bible verses. These groups do not respect time zones, work schedules, or basic human rest. Sleep is optional. Notifications are mandatory.

Let’s start with the Forwarding Commandos. These are the relatives who believe forwarding equals responsibility. They do not read. They do not verify. They forward. A message could say, “Drinking hot water cures cancer and debt,” and they’ll send it with full confidence, followed by: “Just sharing. Up to you to believe.” No, it’s not “up to us.” You’ve already infected the group with nonsense.

Then comes the Holier-Than-Thou Preachers. Every issue—floods, traffic jams, inflation—somehow circles back to morality. Someone will drop a long message explaining how disasters happen because people don’t pray enough, dress properly, or forward religious messages fast enough. The irony? These same people will insult others in the next message, judge lifestyles, and start political arguments before breakfast. Apparently, holiness has office hours, and empathy clocks out early.

And don’t forget the Medical Professors of WhatsApp University. They appear whenever someone mentions feeling unwell. Suddenly, everyone’s an expert. “Don’t take that medicine.” “Doctors hide the truth.” “My friend’s cousin’s neighbour tried this leaf.” By the end of the thread, you’re convinced paracetamol is a conspiracy and garlic can resurrect the dead.

The worst offenders, however, are the Late-Night Philosophers. These are the people who suddenly feel inspired at 1:47 a.m. That’s when they choose to share life advice, political rants, or a seven-paragraph essay about respect. They don’t ask if anyone’s awake. They assume everyone should be. Because if they’re scrolling, so should you. Family bonding, apparently, is best achieved through sleep deprivation.

WhatsApp family groups also excel at weaponised guilt. Don’t reply? Someone will tag you. “Seen but no response?” Miss one discussion? You’ll be accused of being arrogant, busy, or “already forgotten family.” Never mind that you were working, sleeping, or simply trying to preserve your sanity.

The backward mindset driving all this is simple: being loud equals being right, and being active equals being virtuous. Silence is seen as disrespect. Boundaries are seen as rebellion. Muting the group is treated like a personal betrayal, on par with skipping Hari Raya visits.

Here’s the pun-filled truth bomb: WhatsApp family groups don’t sleep because nobody in them knows how to rest their opinions. Everyone must comment. Everyone must teach. Everyone must save the world—one forwarded message at a time.

But nobody listens. Nobody learns. And nobody gets any sleep.

So maybe it’s time for a radical idea: less forwarding, more thinking. Less preaching, more compassion. And maybe—just maybe—respect that not every message needs to be sent, and not every thought deserves a notification.

Until then, your phone will keep buzzing at ungodly hours, reminding you of one undeniable truth: in WhatsApp family groups, the only thing that ever rests is common sense.

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