Ketupat & Co.

Are Malaysian Women Actually Safer Drivers Than Men? This is one of those topics that can start a war at a mamak stall faster than a football match and a political argument combined: Who are safer drivers — Malaysian women or Malaysian men? Now before everyone gets emotionally घायल and starts typing with their feelings instead of their brains, let’s be very clear about one thing: this is not about who thinks they are a better driver. If confidence was the measurement, Malaysian men would be Formula 1 champions and parking lots would not look like abstract art exhibitions. This is about behavior. And behavior on Malaysian roads is less “civilized transport system” and more “Mad Max: KL Drift.” Let’s start with Malaysian men. Malaysian men don’t drive. Malaysian men dominate territory . The road is not a road — it is a battlefield where every signal is a suggestion, every gap is an opportunity, and every other driver is an obstacle sent by fate to test their masculinity....

Why Tailgating Is Practically a National Sport Here There are many sports in this country. Badminton. Football. Sepak takraw. But there is one sport that does not get enough official recognition, even though millions of people practice it every single day. That sport is tailgating . Not the American kind with BBQ and pickup trucks. No, no. I’m talking about the high-speed, bumper-kissing, life-flashing-before-your-eyes kind of tailgating. The kind where you are already driving at a perfectly reasonable speed, and suddenly a car appears behind you so close you can read the driver’s dental records through your rear-view mirror. You don’t see their headlights. You see their soul . The Tailgater Mindset Tailgaters all believe the same thing: “If I drive 0.7 meters behind you, you will somehow go faster.” This is fascinating logic because the car in front is already limited by: Traffic The car in front of them Traffic lights Speed cameras The basic laws of phys...

The Art of Complaining About Traffic While Driving Like a Maniac There is a very special type of human being that exists in every country, every city, every highway, every morning and every evening. This person is angry about traffic. Not mildly annoyed. Not slightly frustrated. No — this person is personally offended that other human beings also need to use the same road at the same time. But here is the interesting part: this same person who complains about traffic is traffic . The Main Character of the Highway These drivers believe they are the main character and everyone else is just a side character with a slower car and worse life decisions. They say things like: “Why is everyone so slow?” “Why is there so much traffic?” “People don’t know how to drive!” “Move!” “Idiot!” Meanwhile, they are: Switching lanes every 12 seconds Not using signal Driving 140 km/h in a 90 zone Tailgating like they are magnetically attached Braking late like it’s a racing...