Ketupat & Co.

Mat Rempit: Criminal Problem or Socioeconomic Symptom? Every few months, the same video goes viral in Malaysia. A group of teenagers on modified motorcycles, weaving through traffic, doing wheelies, blocking highways, revving engines at 2AM like they are auditioning for Fast & Furious: Kampung Drift. Everyone gets angry. Facebook experts come out. WhatsApp uncles forward messages. Politicians give statements. Police do operations. Headlines appear. Then two weeks later, everyone forgets — until the next video. And the national debate begins again: Are Mat Rempit criminals, or are they victims of society? The honest answer that nobody likes is this: They are both. Let’s be very clear about one thing first. Racing illegally on public roads, endangering other people, making noise at night, blocking highways, risking lives — this is not “youth culture.” This is dangerous. People can die. In fact, people have died. Innocent drivers, riders themselves, passengers, someti...

The Opposition’s Dilemma: Criticizing Everything, Fixing Nothing? Malaysian politics has a very interesting job position. It’s called Opposition Politician — also known as Professional Complainer With Press Conference. Now before anyone gets angry, relax. This is not about one party or another. This is about a pattern Malaysians have seen for the past 30 years. When you are not in power, everything is wrong. When you are in power, everything is “complicated.” Funny how that works. In Malaysia, the opposition has one main KPI: Complain. Petrol price naik — complain Petrol price turun — say not enough Toll — complain No toll — complain maintenance cost Subsidy — complain not enough No subsidy — complain rakyat suffering Flood — complain government slow No flood — complain no preparation Economy bad — complain Economy good — say previous government effort Basically, whatever happens, the press statement already prepared. Now don’t get me wrong. Opposition i...

Woman Damaged a Double Parked Car Blocking Her There is a very special type of genius in Malaysia. Not the kind that invents things, not the kind that builds companies, not the kind that writes books. No, I’m talking about a different category of genius. The Double Parking Genius . This person believes that hazard lights are a magical legal document that transforms illegal parking into a temporary, morally acceptable life decision. Put hazard lights, suddenly rules don’t apply. Suddenly the road belongs to your father. Suddenly everyone else must adjust their life because you want to buy bubble tea for “five minutes.” Five minutes in Malaysia is a very flexible unit of time. Five minutes can mean: – 5 minutes – 20 minutes – 45 minutes – Until the shop close So recently there was a case: a woman couldn’t exit because someone double parked and blocked her car. She got angry, damaged the blocking car, and then — plot twist — she was the one who had to apologize . And ...

Road Rage in Malaysia: Getting Worse or Just More Visible? “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” — Buddha Let’s be honest about one thing: Malaysians are very polite people — until we sit behind the steering wheel. Then suddenly, we transform from “boss, sorry boss, after you boss” into Formula 1 drivers with anger management issues. So the question is: Is road rage in Malaysia getting worse, or is it just more visible now because everyone has a dashcam and a smartphone? Short answer? Both. And also because many people drive like their brain is on airplane mode. You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. Everyone has seen it. The guy who cuts three lanes without signal like he’s Moses parting the Red Sea. The driver who tailgates you so close you can read his IC number. The abang who drives 60 km/h in the fast lane like he bought the highway. The Myvi that appears in your rearview mirror out of nowhere like a boss-level video game...

The Malaysian Habit of Parking Wherever They Please A National Sport We Never Officially Admitted There are many unique cultural behaviors that define a nation. The British queue. The Japanese bow. The Germans engineer. And Malaysians? Malaysians park. Anywhere. Everywhere. All at once. In Malaysia, parking is not a skill. It is not a responsibility. It is not even a driving activity. It is a creative expression. A form of street art. A statement that says, “I exist, therefore I park.” You can travel across the entire country — from Perlis to Johor, from Kuantan to Kota Kinabalu — and you will witness the same magnificent behavior: a car parked diagonally across two lots like it is marking territory, a car parked in front of a shop “just for 2 minutes,” a car parked blocking another car with the phone number on the dashboard like a romantic invitation to strangers, and of course, the most powerful move of all — the double park and disappear technique. Malaysians don’t...

Why Malaysians Don’t Trust Malaysians (And Then Wonder Why Everything Is So Expensive) Let’s start with a simple Malaysian business model: Step 1: Customer comes Step 2: Overcharge customer Step 3: Customer never comes back Step 4: Complain economy bad Brilliant. Nobel Prize in Economics is on the way. In many countries, business owners think about lifetime customer value . In Malaysia, many people think about today value . Not long-term relationship. Not reputation. Not referrals. Just: “How much can I squeeze this fella today before he disappears forever?” And then we have the audacity — the absolute audacity — to complain: “Malaysian customers very stingy.” “People always ask for discount.” “People don’t trust local business.” “People prefer Shopee / foreign brands.” You trained them to be like that. The Great Malaysian Pricing System Malaysia has one of the most advanced pricing systems in the world. Very sophisticated. Very scientific. Pri...

Public Toilet Disgrace: Why Basic Cleanliness Is Too Much to Ask “Cleanliness is not next to godliness — it is common sense.” — Unknown There are many mysteries in Malaysia. Why does every meeting start late but everyone says they are “on the way”? Why do people queue so close behind you like they are trying to enter your family tree? Why do drivers see a signal light as a personal challenge instead of a warning? But perhaps the greatest mystery of all — the one that has puzzled scientists, philosophers, and every poor soul with a weak bladder — is this: Why are some public toilets in Malaysia so disgustingly dirty like a crime scene? Let’s be honest. We are not asking for a five-star hotel toilet with marble floors, scented candles, and Mozart playing in the background. Nobody expects a public toilet to look like a spa in Mont Kiara. We are asking for very basic things: Flush the toilet Don’t pee on the seat Throw tissue in the bin Don’t treat the floor like ...